I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
