This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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