So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
