You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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