dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
