O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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