you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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