Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
