he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize