I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
