So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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