Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
