The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
