I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
