i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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