tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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