Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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