is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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