Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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