My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
