so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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