I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
