That's when you crack a 10am beer
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There r osticjed everywhere
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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