i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
