i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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