You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
