First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
