So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
