shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can't turn off my feet"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
