I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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