I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
