awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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