This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
