I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
