Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Randomize
