I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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