I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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