but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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