just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I will pee on everything he values.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All I want is dick and wine.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
