He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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