god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
