Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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