I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
