Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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