Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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