They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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