I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
