I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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