wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.