so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head