He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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