Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like

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  (901): i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like http://tfl.nu/ceub
  Replies (41) Good night (3130) Bad night (956)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex

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  (864): bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex http://tfl.nu/q1ec
  Replies (52) Good night (1443) Bad night (7040)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.

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  (580): She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head. http://tfl.nu/4ro8
  Replies (28) Good night (8624) Bad night (879)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away

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  (801): So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away http://tfl.nu/h2fc
  Replies (11) Good night (5257) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.

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  (616): Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this. http://tfl.nu/uew9
  Replies (12) Good night (3814) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol

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  (920): it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol http://tfl.nu/j58z
  Replies (4) Good night (2885) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.

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  (617): The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door. http://tfl.nu/n48k
  Replies (29) Good night (3871) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.

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  (210): I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high. http://tfl.nu/oo1s
  Replies (16) Good night (3072) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot

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  (330): she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot http://tfl.nu/2af5
  Replies (3) Good night (1677) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest

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  (507): 2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest http://tfl.nu/nadf
  Replies (6) Good night (848) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit

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  (312): Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit http://tfl.nu/kckq
  Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.

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  (314): Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit. http://tfl.nu/r9h5
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.

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  (570): Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore. http://tfl.nu/jsbv
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?

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  (415): Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'? http://tfl.nu/ngfc
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (165)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

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  (412): Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts. http://tfl.nu/nvqi
  Replies (3) Good night (318) Bad night (634)

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