Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.