He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.