Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband

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  (616): Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband http://tfl.nu/lbgd
  Replies (20) Good night (6158) Bad night (914)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.

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  (251): He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me. http://tfl.nu/9j20
  Replies (58) Good night (4050) Bad night (798)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.

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  (715): i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign. http://tfl.nu/r2le
  Replies (15) Good night (5287) Bad night (1032)
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  (209): View more from California

  she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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  (209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82
  Replies (24) Good night (2040) Bad night (10391)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad

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  (317): The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad http://tfl.nu/cny5
  Replies (20) Good night (3703) Bad night (1214)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

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  (240): He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice http://tfl.nu/qhk7
  Replies (3) Good night (2657) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?

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  (972): I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda? http://tfl.nu/bxk9
  Replies (13) Good night (1982) Bad night (661)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.

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  (605): Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer. http://tfl.nu/o6i1
  Replies (2) Good night (1387) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  What drink are we having for lunch?

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  (785): What drink are we having for lunch? http://tfl.nu/pv1n
  Replies (5) Good night (1265) Bad night (932)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.

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  (503): You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks. (503): Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks. http://tfl.nu/twir
  Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (413)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.

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  (732): My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe. http://tfl.nu/2f1v
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (984)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing

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  (907): I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing http://tfl.nu/5qyn
  Replies (11) Good night (1023) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.

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  (623): Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff. http://tfl.nu/snvk
  Replies (8) Good night (1504) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again

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  (201): Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again http://tfl.nu/vf35
  Replies (5) Good night (556) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

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  (+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special http://tfl.nu/nl3i
  Replies (0) Good night (854) Bad night (410)

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