wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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