I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
