No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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