I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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