You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He better not be in your backpack
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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