people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You pole danced in your parka.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
