Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
