We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
