I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am available for nakedness
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
