I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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