so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I could have mohawked her pubes.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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