We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
