margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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